tones and shades...

i spent the whole weekend mixing different shades and tones..............................
and still i haven't found the right colours that i want to paint in..........................
if i didn't run out of oils last night i think i would have obsessed over it till the early hours of the next day.........................

as you can expect from me............
i refuse to use colours that come straight from the tube..................
no offence to the person whose job is to conjure them up, but i find ready-made hues too vibrant and harsh.............
it all boils down to personal taste really, and being a perfectionist, i am going to carry on combining endless amounts of sample colours until i am satisfied that i have found what i am looking for (would you have ever expected me, the most random person in the world, to be a perfectionist???? no i wouldn't have either.....................)

hmmmmmmm
initially my idea was to paint in 'flesh' tones and shades....................
i am still locked in a battle of deciding if i want to paint in one certain flesh or if i want to use different flesh and then carefully mesh them all together somehow............... a sort of tribute to everyone that inhabits this world....................

after all, skin pigmentation is never the same................
it varies in everyone, be it from the same country or from the same household....................
thats whats so beautiful about this world, the diversity that we have in race & culture....................

and because we are all different, it kinda tests us, as humans, as to whether we have the ability to see past our differences, in order to co-exist happily alongside one another ................. a long time ago i worte this:

"to me ppl are like flowers, unique in colour & fragrance and gifted with different characteristics & abilities so that no two are the same, thereby making it difficult to judge which is better, so never shun ppl away based on their culture or heritage or language or faith or circumstance but learn to accept and to hold respect for who and what they are, for every person is different to add variety, contrast & interest to each day that we wake to live our small meaningful lives, and in doing so, we start to discover more about ourselves which is the greatest satisfaction, if not benefit to us "

and i still think of it as some sort of trueism....................
maybe its too idealistic but thats how i would like ppl to be.........................
but................i can't control how ppl should think and behave..................
and nor would i, for the exercise of our so-called 'freewill' is the governance to the thoughts we have, and the behaviour we display...........................


(finish later)