spring rolls...

believe it or not, but one of my favourite foods that my mooma makes are her 'chun-guuns' (spring rolls)............... both her seafood and vegetable recipes will disappear quickly with me, and no matter how many i eat i always want more!!!............ (at this point i am foerever grateful for the invention of elasticated jeans!!!)..............................

(realisation that i know that alot of time has elapsed since i have been able to sit and write on here and to seamus..................... i hope that the wait for these recipes has been worth it!!!................)

okej to make the seafood spring rolls you will need:
1.prawns (shelled, gutted and minced up and yes you need to gut the prawns!!!
2.crabsticks/surimi sticks
3.fun-ci (mung bean threads that have been soaked)
4.mook-yi (wood fungus which needs soaking and expands alot!!!!)
5.beansprounts (chooped up)
6.onion (if you want finely chopped)

egg yolk to combine the mixture and salt and pepper for taste.......................
(and for meat eaters you can add pork to it as the traditional vietnamese method is but i don't eat meat so i leave it out)

and to make vegetarian springrolls you will need:
1.dong-gu (shitake mushrooms the darm brown ones that need soaking overnight)
2.nya-choi (beansprouts chopped up)
3.mai-tai (water chestnuts sliced up)
4.juk-sun (bamboo shoots shiced up)
5.cabbage (sliced up)
6.carrots (finely sliced)

all the ingredients need to be lightly fried with salt and pepper and a bit of fish sauce or soysauce for taste and then placed in a collinder to drain all the excess fluids.

when choosing a spring roll wrapping, there are two types that i like, the 'tyj' label that is made from wheatflour (you can buy it from most asian food shops in the freezer section............. the good thing about it is, ease of peeling and folding)............... and there is the tradtional 'rice-paper' wrapping that needs to be soaked since you buy it dry (this is a bit more fiddly to use since it can split if you soak it too long!!!)...........................

hmmmmmm i should also say that when making the spring rolls there is a method to how you should roll them up so as to not let the corners split, but its a bit difficult to explain without showing so errrrrrrr good luck in all your attempts................................ and once you have rolled it up you need a water-flour paste to just seal off the ends so that it doesn'y unravel..................................

when you have mananged to wrap them all up then you can deep fry them or put them into the freezer for storage........................ when deep-frying the spring rolls you need to make sure the oil is hot!!! (please be careful since oil burns are very nasty indeed!!!)........................ and they should be fried for about 10-15-20 mins depending on how big you made them !!!!................ the springrolls should be immersed in the oil to give even cooking and ocassionally should be turned................ (traditionally we use a wok to fry them in but it can a bit unsafe it you don't have a wok stand so i recommend using a deep-fat-fryer or deep saucepan if you got one????)

okej to serve the spring rolls you should have rice noodles and at least one salad ........
i know of three that are simple and nice...............
1.round lettuce leaves
2.koh-rabi and carrots finely sliced soaked in a vinegar dressing and served with crushed peanuts
3.sliced cucumber and carrots soaked in vinegar dressing

because the spring rolls are fried, traditionally we serve it with a sour dressing to help neutralise the greasiness so vinegar dressings, lemons and chillis are good................

to make my moomas dressing its just a combination of a little sugar, vinegar (put more or less depending how sour you want it), chopped up chillis, crushed garlic cloves, lemon juice and fish sauce and water to dilute to taste......................(or if you like sweet dressing then get one of those thai sweet chiili dipping sauces that you can get in all supermarkets............. cheaters!!! :-p)

and there we have the finished food blog about spring rolls !!!!
(so seamus your task now is to go out and find all the stuff you need and to report back to me on how you managed!!!! good luck and thanks for not nagging me to finish it XXX and happy belated birthday to you!!! i hope your trip to london was good and that you managed to write the codes to your music website!!!)

FB...

hmmmm now everyone knows this terminology...............
FB stands for 'friends with benefits'
or in its lesser term 'fook buddies'
the swedes also have this term but they call it KK............ 'knolla kompis'...............

now i need to write something about his because i have too many KK's :-p.................det var skamt!!!! skamt!!!!

no seriously i need to write something about FB's and cross border-rules because after spedning a couple of days with johan, mauel and mats and everyone else that has 'yellow fever' or just so called 'etchi' men.................. you get to think like them and in the words of jakob i need to either write it down so that everyone can be familiar with such terms ansd rules or i can forget about it............

being blessed with a good memory means i find it hard to forget things and so i need to do the other............. write about it!!! sometimes i miss the whole sparta living and gossip but in alot of ways i am sooooooooo happy that i am an outsider looking in and not involved in any scandals that happen around "the flat that everyone has stayed in"............................really i like being a regular that just comes round every so often rather than a regular that is part of the 'family of incestuous relationships' (don't ask, really don't)...................

cross border rule: according to the deviuos ones that are trying to bed the exchange students (no names in particular because its all of them), its okay to see other ppl outside of the country even if you are in a long term relationship................... so for instance if you have a boyfriend in china and you go to sweden then its okay to mess about with swedish men because "what happens there, stays there" and the only way your BF will find out is if you tell him....................... hence cross-border rule is once you cross the geographical line of marking then you can do what you want with whom.............................. (NO i haven't succumbed to this rule yet!!!)

the pentagon rule: if you decide to go for relationships in different countries or in different cities or towns or halls of residence then there is the other rule that says you can only have a limit of up to FIVE.................. this is because they all need to be a 'member of he pentagon' so to speak.............. so if you have 5 already and you meet another one then you need to make one of the pentagon retire so that they can be replaced or you go onto the nx level.................. (this rule does appeal to me so if anyone is interested in being part of 'my pentagon team' pls send applications to................. skamt skamt!!!)

united nation rule: the nx level from 'the pentagon' is the 'united nations' rule where you are uniting ppl through you!!! and you have a lot of dealings with 'international relations'!!! and strive to allow everyone to join without force or prejudice!!! (i know its sick!!!)...................it seems this is a good rule if you are undecided on your 5 or one since there is no limit to how many you wish to make as part of your united nations, but errrrrrrrrrr your community is your own problem and keeping it all under control without any revolt or retaliation will be on your own shoulders and believe me it can be nasty (was a witness to two girls meeting to see their errrrr 'BF' that was the same guy.................need i say more, oh yeah then the third came along............you get the picture.......)

hmmmmmmm oh there is another good term that i learnt while there and its 'hester full' which means 'really ugly' and its used more often for when ppl go 'maulk' in a nite club...................... 'maulk' roughly translated means 'deep sea underwater fishing' and if you have ever seen some of those beauties that live down there then you will find them quite hester full........................... in normal language its when a person gets really drunk and they go to a club where they know the music is bad and the light is low and that they know its full of not too attractive ppl BUT still they go to just get some action............. so the term 'maulk' is used..........................(damn you manuel and kei and mats for telling me stuff..................but it is funny........... i have a sick sense of humour!!!).....................

just to finish this blog off i think its a good time to write some of the new swedish phrases that i picked while there............ i need to point out that whereas most ppl learn the polite stuff first, i am working my way from the other end of the scale................. going from rude and making my way towards being civilised.....................(in ten years ui will be a native speaker......... of utter krapp)

attans!
du ar sit kissare och sto skittare och blood fissare............
din mama ar sa tjock
jag vill bissa pa din sang
din mama tankte din foddelse ar ett skamt
mama rotare mig
vad skaffas dig om
biss-kaka
du ar ful som ar agg
du ar inte sa snygg
hall kaften nu
dra att helvete/ skogen
va fan glo du pa
va fan sager du
va fan gjord du
sluta nu
fy dig
javla skit
ar du berg

okay some of these phrases are quite old but quite useful to say to some drunk ppl that are trying to hit on you at a corri-party and you want them to leave you alone.............. although be warned............. if you are a' for-ren-ger', then it can have the opposite effect, where guys think its really cute that you can curse in their own language to them and then they keep coming back for more abuse because they find it a turn on???? i need to start learning the polite stuff soon since maybe that will work better than being rude???

hmmm okej there is one last term that ppl should know about......... its the pH scale.......... and i don't mean neutrality of alkalines and acids.................... pH is an acronym for 'Potential Husbands'................... so we will simply classify men as pH1, pH2, pH3 and so forth and numbers have no ranking, if we think you will make a good husband then we will simply stick pHsomething onto you!!!................ women are funny but you know you can't live without us!!!! hahahahahaha

tre bror...

this isn't actually wot i am writing about but i need to say it................
"nin nin you gum nyut, sui sui you gum chi, gong hee ni gong hee ni...... ah baby-duck"
"jook ni yut nin dai-gor yut nin tong-my ping-on tong how-duk ho hai dai-hock"..............

translated that was just me singing happy birthday to my little brother and wishing him luck at uni, who is 19 today!!! oh my god!!! they grow up so quickly!!! i still remember when he was a baby and now hes a grown man starting his own journey in life!!! and hes soooo smart too................ yet as all big sisters do, i worry about him everyday BUT i just don't tell him................ if anything, i think i am really hard on him........... there was a time when i used to just do everything for him but thats no way to teach someone SO now i make him do absolutely everything and am quite cold and strict and always nagging him.................. it may look like i don't like him, but the reality is, i value him more than my own life.............. its just, i don't think there is any point in smoothering him with kindness all the time because there is some self-satisfaction in being able to look-after-yourself, which is what i want him to do..................if he is able to rely on himself then he will be able to help anyone that asks it of him later............(yes i realise my analogy is stupid but thats just the way i think.......)

still haven't got him a present yet but its not a problem because i will usually just give him some money to waste on "bargain-land" (ebay)............... so happi birthday baby-duck!!! (note: he won't read this because he doesn't read blogs, yet i will write it anyway!!!)



hmmmm when someone says to me the word 'brother', i don't just think about brothers that i have from being blood-relations, but i also think about the brothers that have adopted me from spending some fun times together.................. and there are two that spring to mind right now called juju-kun and kei-kun, min svenska bror................. i decided to write abit about them (sure they will be happy, but they both don;t know i wrote it so that makes it okay!!!) because "jag vill aka till sverige snart!!!" and annoy the fook out of them as i always do everytime i visit (i am sure there was one time when i was there, that we had to set up two beds in the kitchen to accommodate for two others that were crashing around???).......................

okay i need to warn ppl that this blog is going to be a bit boring because i am just going to write personal stuff about the stupid things that we do and how we met so really if you weren't there then it seems a bit WTF is she talking about........ (no jokes).............

first meetings :





hmmmm the first time that i met johan and kei was at kei's corridor party ....... i actually wasn't planning on going yet somehow managed to get there because one of my corri-mates suggested it would be a good pre-party............... the memory that i have is sitting in kei's room talking to a bunch of strangers and then being impressed by kei's comic collection that he had hidden under a rather large rug................... (i was told that he didn't want them ruined AND that he didn't want any girls them see them because then they would think him a geek!!! little knowing how much of a comic freak i was)................. it was there that johan and kei invited me to their 'moving in party' in july but i didn't think that we would see each other again because when someone says that, there usually isn't any meaning behind it.................

moving in party, trees and sausages:





before the party i actually met up with johan again for coffee but we didn't have coffee and jsut say up in a tree by the AF building looking at LTHers on their way to do a bike-a-thon or something??? and he was telling me about his GF from HK called joyce (it was sweet) and that she was coming in july so i would get to meet her (i also stole some comics from kei to read in the meantime, 'blade of the immortal' is particularly good for art and story).................. now i didn't expect to see them again so it was rather nice to get invited to their moving in party...... that was fun because i got to play on the swings with joyce and also we stayed up all nite singing karaoke and watching some movies???.................... the most memorable third meeting that we had, was viveka (corri-mate) and me turning up at their flat in our pyjamas saying we were really hungry and could we have some food (don't ask and the thing was the supermarket was only about 100metres away!!!)............. it was also joyces birthday and i agreed to help out with making the food and baking a cake!!! (i don't know what joyce and johan were thinking but i think they saw the funny side of it. i hope)............. joyce and viveka and i kept on being really stupid throughout the meal because johan was trying to say he had "six sauces" but said he had "six sausages" instead, so being non-dirty-minded women we didn't make a pun about having six sausages (poor poor martin was being really quiet and had to endure our silly giggles) ................

tosselilla:

is an amusement park and it was great that johan, joyce and martin were still big kids inside........







of course when playing on the bubble we had a point scoring system where we said 50 points for every kid you could knock off and 100 if you could smack them together while knocking them off (we were only messing around, although martin came very close to scoring quite high and pissing alot of the kids off!!!).............johan-kun!!! you get minus1000 points for injuring joyce, you woman beater!!!! hahahahaha (don't take me seriously, this is a joke).............



and tarzan land is definately "beginner army camp for kids"!!!

for more tosselila photos go to:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=8755&l=24d6d&id=517037261



ninja themed foddlesdag:









for johans 24th birthday we had a ninja themed party...... need i say more, i guess the pictures and movie says it all, although at one point nancy kindly pointed out that the guys looked a bit like terrorist or telly-tubbies..........



hahahahaha, that day was literally me running around because hakan had come back to visit and i didn't know he was there and he didn't know i was there so that was funny, and we both agreed to go see idas exhibition along with olaugh and olivia!!!.......... that night was just "funny" in a word, i ended up changing like three times and at one stage exchanged clothes with another girl.................. then halfway through johans party we got coerced by some ppl to go to the initiation party for 'zero' LTHers., so we left without telling johan!!! but we came back after about half an hour because none of the guys were cute and also they were all 18/19!!!!! (definately a no-go-area for any of us!!!)............. and when we arived home, the party was empty!!! and johan was a bit peed to find that no one was there when he came back from wherever he was ............ hahahaha du kunna vi alsker dig johan!!! ninjas make alcohol...... secret ingredients....... (and for the observant ones, yes i am am wearing a pink dress, and as johan pointed out "maybe one day i will get a figure to fill it out"!!!!)

for more ninja birthday photos go to:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=6466&l=dff85&id=517037261

and

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=6570&l=4726c&id=517037261





jul-must:

heehee, wot was most entertaining about matts corrifest was that, certain ppl were waiting for 'certain' other ppl, but what we thought was a girl chasing a boy, turned out to be a friend helping this girl to get a boy and how much i enjoyed hearing all the gossip and being the one in the middle!!! and how much the rest of us were sniggering at the one that was being chased who had no idea about what was going on......... poor mama and i had to be there for support........ heehee............... this was a really really strange nite.......... okay it started in matts corridor then we went to my old international corridor then from out of the blue, HAKAN was there!!!!! and we were both a bit shocked but happy................ then leaving hakan we went to find the parties at LTH for some reason, only there was NO party and the only one we found had ended!!! so, being undeterred we went to loftet!!! ................... now the thing is, if you ever want to get into loftet never ever, really never ever, wear high heels!!!! kei-kun literally had to carry me over what could only be described as 'several mountanous ranges'!!! loftet, is like this mysterious place that is situated in a basin-valley region on the uni grounds and i guarantee that you will not have been a proper student unless you have a story to tell about getting over those hills!!! ( i am proud to say i have mine)............... BUT...... yes there is always a but, the party at loftet was a private one!!! so we went to try to find johan who had disappeared, when we couldn't find him we went home......... and guess wot, he was home with hakan and some other ppl!!!! that was kool............. what started out as a unpromising nite turned out to be really kool one because it was just a bunch of us who were quite close staying up all nite playing sing star!!!!! love you nancy for staying with us although you hada flight to catch the nx day!!! hmmmmm tack sa mycket johan for my first proper swedish christmas with you and family (your mama makes really nice food!!!) pepper-kaka-hus .............and tack sa mycket kei-kun for carrying me over the threshold kei and mig making sushi...



for more sushi photos go to:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=6385&l=e16db&id=517037261

games weekend:
we took a road trip to see niklas (or we took a road trip to spend the weekend playing games with niklas...)



for more photos go to:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=9668&l=30589&id=517037261

at last, i have managed to finish off this rather long piece of writing............
i have more things to say about the funny times that we spent together but i guess it can get a bit boring if you are an outsider reading stuff that only makes sense if you were actually there..........( and i think i would be writng this till next week if i wanted to say more things about my two swedish brothers....... ack!!! sluta nu!!! and will probably write another one when i come back from my soon trip to see them again................."jag alsker dig kei-kun och juju-kun, tack for being 'min bror'" XXX "tre bror"

dice day...

if you get bored, or have a spare day, and want something to do then you can always play 'dice'......
if you ever read 'the diceman' by rhinehart then you will kinda know wot i am talking about.........
of course the game i play doesn't involve you killing anyone, but then again this game's first rule is that there are no rules because you make them up along the way, so if human sacrifice is something you feel the urge to perfrom then play to your hearts content (and just don't tell anyone or else you go to prison) .............





okay...........the first time i played this was in copenhagen with hakan (pronounced haw-kan but i don't have that special 'a' with the 'o' on top)........... i can't quite remember why we were in copenhagen, i think that we both needed a break from studies and hakan needed to buy alcohol (thats wot studying too much does to you) so we decided to go to copenhagen because alcohol was cheaper there then in sweden (this is very true ask anyone!!!)............ anyway.......... we were both in a games shop messing about and on the counter were alot of dice............. hakan then suggested 'hej wouldn't it be fun to explore copenhagen with a dice' and guess wot happened next???............ yep, we bought a dice..................and the first place we came to was the toy shop, no surprises there, but it was also the place i got my faithful purple parasol (no not umbrella, parasol!!!) ................

the rules we had, were very simple in our game........... for instance if there was only one street we said '1-3 go left' or '4-6 go right', if there were several ways to go, we named each walkway 1,2,3,4,5,6 and whatever the number fell upon we would walk down that route................ if we came across a place of interest we said '1-3 we go in and look' or '4-6 we move on', and if we were in a shopping area we played '1-2 go left' or '3-4 go right' or '5-6 go forwards' .................. there was no logic to any of it but basically you take it in turn to make the rules beforehand and then roll the outcome with the dice................. in the beginning we just threw the dice on the street (catching alot of attention along the way) but found this impratical in crowded areas so decided it was best to roll the dice in the non-rollers hand (how smart were we!!!).....................





that was one of the most memorable days in my life because i got to see alot of interesting things; like the little mermaid, the modern art museum. a fort or battlement of some kind, toys, a lovely park, a private exhibition, some second-hand shops and almost the chance to sleep at the train station (almost, we said '1-3' we go home or '4-6 stay there as tramps', thank god it was a three!!!)................ of course finding the station again was amusing to say the least......... after walking around for 6 hours straight we were lost (that tends to happen when you obey the dice!!!) after asking directions from one dane, we started walking towards where we thought the station was, only to find out half an hour later by another (this time a kind local dane) that we needed to head back in the other direction!!!..................... that day playing dice was the break that we both needed, something so strange and random that we would want to come back to reality in order to enjoy fun more......................epecially hakan who was doing his final paper on manipulating computer characters or generated images??? (something tells me that was not his subject)............





hakan was one of the best friends a person can have, hes the type of guy that can think up really kool and fun things to do and is never a bore, hes a great conversationalist (even if he hates ppl) and if you ever get to meet and befriend this introvert then you will be very lucky indeed because not a day will go by that is not full of surprises.............. he also makes a good cooking and sparring partner (so miss our play fights in the kitchen as well as our wall paintings with corridor money!!! or smashing up of the furniture, don't ask) seriously, hakan is a good person that is kind as well as calm. so much so, that i have decided to have him as my maid-of-honour at my wedding...............don't look so bewildered, half my bridesmaids are going to be guys ( i will have hairy bridesmaids i know, but it will be a masquerade so you won't have to look at their faces??? not sure if that is good or not)

anyway............. like i wrote before if you've got time then go out and play 'dice', take a camera with you and take pictures of the day to remember................ if you are feeling extra adventurous then use the dice to go 'bus-hopping' or 'train-hopping' to see where you might end up and be surprised at how you would never have planned to go there or at the new things you discover!!! it can be fun if you are up for it but errrrrrr you might want to keep a record of the route you took or else you won't get home (yes it happened to me, tried to use the dice to get home but errrrrrr got even more lost hahahahahahaha).....................this experience won't change your life but may make you view it in a different light??? who knows??? just have fun hahahahaha





for more videos from that day please go to:
http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=7188B430B18B1B1A

(this has nothing to do with the blog but, i will wirte it anyway........ bon nuit, gut schlaf, mann-on, vislat, buenos noches, god nat, oyasumi nasai, bonne notte, no star, wan-shang, annong jumishipsiyo and good night hahahaha )





(i just had to add these photos because it was of a dice... yeah no logic at all :-p)

period came...

was supposed to be back home yesterday night but somehow managed to walk through the doors at about 3pm today...............for some reason i was really really tired as well as really really bloated, and couldn't figure out why (maybe i ate too much at the wedding), so i did wot anyone would do............ sleep it off.................

woke up just now (11.46pm) and realised why i was tired and bloated (and moody and emotional and hungry)........ yes, thats correct, it was that time of the month, i was menstrating............. woohooo!!!

the idea of blood coming out of you must be a disturbing sight but periods are good news to me............ (okay they are annoying because you need to change sanitary towels every three hours, and when you are out and about there is never a toilet around, and also there is the chance that your best pair of white jeans will be ruined ( do ppl still have white jeans???)and also it affects your body in different ways be it cramps or water retention or cravings) BUT the good thing is, it means that you can still bear children if you want (providing you have good production of eggs) (also it means you can eat an extra 200calories per day or in my interpretation more bananas!!! woohoo) ...................yes i know its a stupid thought but thats the best i can do right now.......... "the lining of my womb has reached the stage where it needs to be rid of, so that a new layer can form over the nx month ready for that precious egg to be made from my ovaries where it will gently glide down my filopian tube and nessle into my womb, the place where life begins" ............. and for heaven sakes you can't be freaked out !!! ............... you leanrt all this when you were 10/11 (remember that "girls talk" we had where we all got free panty liners and 2inch thick towels and remember rushing off to the toilets to 'try' them out even though there was nothing to soak up (apart from piss but tena pads are much better for that job) ....... my point exactly, if you are 10/11 then its 'ewwww' but now we are older (i didn't say mature) its something that you don't have to be embarassed about.................i'm not or else you wouldn't be reading it.......................hahahaha

don't read on if you don't want to know the details.......

i still remember when i first got my period.....i was scared........there was blood where there should not be blood and in the panic i threw my underwear away and used wodds of toilet paper for padding ( at the time i was at home and didn't know where to get towels from okay)................

i didn't want to tell mooma because i was embarassed (yes i can feel shame sometimes, rarely though) but then she found my knickers in the bin (how the hell do mothers do that!!! its like a sixth sense radar thing they have!!!) and instead of me telling her, she was the one that confronted me (thank god someone broke the ice)...................that was a relief because if she didn't explain to me about towels and where to get them, then i probably would still be using bog roll between my legs!!!! (joke joke just ignore me).............

my first experience of shopping for towels was an 'experience' and made me regret being a girl who had the burden of dealing with this every month, back then i didn't really understand the art of towel buying..............supermarkets are wonderful places that give you variety and in supermarkets you have alot of choice, especially when it comes to towels.........you had different lengths ranging from 'normal', 'super' to 'night-time' and then you had different thickness that were '4mm', or '2mm' or one inch thick??? just to add to my ever increasing wish to be a boy at that point you had towels that had 'wings' and were 'cotton soft' or had little 'freshening tissues'???........ now really, when you first have your period all that made no sense and didn't matter to me, i just needed something for protection of my jeans!!!................. in the end, i did wot most ppl would do, buy one of everything and in all the different brands such as 'always' or 'bodyform' or 'kotex' or shop-own-brands...............mission accomplised!!!

wings on towels are great inventions, they keep the thing in place and helps against leakages......... i wish i knew about that when i started out or i wouldn't have had to throw away so many pretty frilly knickers or jeans (blood stains and even vanish won't make it vanish!!!)..................( i realise this blog is gross but i can't stop writng and no one reads anyway so that makes it okay)............. not only did i had to throw away items of garment but i had to get a new mattress too (i was such a troublesome daughter!!!) ............. mooma was trying to explain to me that you need like extra long towels when you sleep and i didn't really understand so just used a 'normal' one...............i didn't know this at the time but when you lie down gravity can affect the body in different ways................i found that out the hard way................. in the morning it looked as if a massacre had taken place in my bed................ being really clever, i thought if i just put the bed sheet in the washing machine and try to sponge-down the mattress, then i would be fine and no one would need to know (as you can tell i was an average teenager, 'never admit to things just try to cover it up')............... of course it didn't work!!! like i said before, "mums" have this amazing sixth sense and mooma sort of found out........... by catching me in the act!!! she was amused to say the least and the next day she had to get a new mattress as well as a waterproof sheet, which she advised to use under the bed sheet, when it was that time of the month (really i don't know wot i would have done without her ) ............

mooma was so helpful through my first few periods, i still recall the time i was in a lesson at school and didn't have any towels on me and instead on going to the school nurse or buying some, i actually called her up and asked for help............... the nex thing i knew, the school secretary came into my lesson to take me out because mooma was in the office with a bag of towels for me........... (like i said, i was not a deep thinker back then!!!)...................thank you mooma!!!

and that there, ladies and gentlemen of the internet world, is my lovely story of the first step to womanhood..............i am very certain that no one wants to know and have no idea why i didn't just delete this blog..............i guess i am just stubborn, if i set out to write something then i will (that added with the fact that i am feeling very emothional and in a shaing mood)......... so enjoy for now because i may delete it later when i come back to read my blog and think WTF am i writing!!!

(on and thank you for the correction of 'trott', i was supposed to write 'jag ar trott' not 'tryck')

five fools...

this is such a cruel thing to do but there are times when i am observing ppl that i place them into certain groups............. just for my amusement really but i have been known to see things at a wrong perspective that i sometimes need to rethink where ppl shoulds be put................ (like elizabeth's first impressions about mr darcy......)

the 5 catergories that i group ppl in are :

a. cretins
b. imbeciles
c. morons
d. idiots
e. maniacs/ geniuses.

i myself am placed in the "d" group, an idiot (or 'dumbass' for the lesser beings that are trying to put a word to the letter d...............in which case i place those ppl in the group called cretins!!!) its such a childish thing to do but i can't help it...................(for all those ppl out there that meet me, don't............. honestly, don't think i am a cute sweet person because i am not, as you stand there thinking good thoughts about me, i will be thinking "i wonder what type of fool this person is" and i will watch all your actions and listen to all your words in trying to evaulate you)

its the fault of that conversation that i had at a party where we were talking about intelligence and smartness but somehow we ended touching the subject of coming up with the different synnonyms (spelt wrong) that were associated with "Fool"........ the talk then escalated into a full debate on how they could be distinguished so that the label could be attached easily to certain ppl in the group.................. (remember that this was at a party so the chances of the ppl being quite sober was pretty low)........................

okay to categories ppl ( i should be slapped for encouraging ppl to do this) you need to know the first rule............ if someone admits that they are smart or is a 'know it all' then they get classed as a moron straight away because no intellect would reveal that they are intelligent (think of strategy planning in warfare) and the second rule is, be wary of quiet ppl.......... the silent types are really difficult to read because they are either a) really really smart that they know its best to stay in the background and to observe wot happens (making them maniacs/geniuses) or b) they are really really stupid and stay silent because they don't understand wot is going on (borderline of imbecile./ cretin).................

if you are called an idiot and admit proudly to being an idiot then you will be put in the section of idiots because idiots are ppl that are actually quite knowledgable but don't want any expectations or responsibility................... idiots can distinguish right from wrong and are logical but decide to always take the illogical answers and constantly try to do the impossible...........(the majority of ppl will fall here)

cretins are easily spotted, they are the ones that are all about image and quite shallow as well as talking constantly about themselves, they have no substance to their conversations and are ppl that don't know how to listen....................initially they believe the centre of the universe is themselves................. (some politicians spring to mind)

imbeciles just fall short of the morons , so if you admit to being smart and constantly try to prove this point with facts that you have read off a cereal or milk carton, and stand there sounding so proud of that information, which ppl knew when they were 5 then you are an imbecile (example: 'sponsor a child is sooooo kool because its like geting a new penpal' (whereas 'sponsor a child is so kool because you are actually giving them a opportunity denied by birth as well as making a new correspondence' and shows your charitable nature) imbeciles are also those that try to hit on another girl while their current GF is standing next to them (no names in particular) ..................

maniacs/ geniuses are both on the same scale because a genius can be eccentric as well as orderly but they need not use their intelligence for good, sometimes you will find that the most crazy person you meet is the most smartest because they want to disguise themselves hence the maniactic behaviour and most geniuses are after all fools in one way or another ( just think of the person that has no common sense and no street cred but is actually very efficient when it comes to their area of expertise)................(ppl in this group actually have the potential to take over the world....if they realised it at all or if they stopped procrastinating and stopped being so lazy)

if in doubt of how to figure out the fool then use your imagination in adding other factors and if you really are unsure then the mid-point is to always call someone a 'moron'..............

(seriously don't take this as any code of practice!!! and i have definately lost my place in heaven.....' confess thy sins little one')

perfection...

i feel somewhat compelled to write this because i know that it will nag me in the back of my head for the rest of the day............(and all through the night.........)

when ppl write that they are looking for the perfect woman i have to stress that she doesn't exist and if she does then i am afraid she is either computer generated (yuna) or an animation character (jessica rabbit) or some little fantasy that has been concocted and will only exist inside your so called imagination...................

the quest for the perfect woman is close to an epic adventure for the holy grail or to be more ironic utopia.......

so when you talk about the perfcet femme of this world, there are lots of things to consider
are you just after looks
are you searching for maternity
do you want her to be able to speak her mind
must she be similar in interests
or do you feel that opposites can attract
has she got to be of the same race, faith, country
do her traits have to include kindness, virtue, grace
and are you yourself not being too demanding in your seach citeria???

she may be pretty but can be lacking in good conversation and if its a trophy you are after then i guess what you want is not the perfect woman but the 'perfect human accessory' to boast your (dare i say it).....image and ego and esteem..............

women are not things........... they are equals to men.........their so-called partners and so need to be cared for, admired and loved...........

love is not something that you can find with a logical formula because to love someone in my little experience , means spending time with them, talking, laughing, crying and sharing experiences together.......... from finding things about each other you learn to appreciate and respect them for their qualities and their faults............from this love blossoms.................... so really when you love someone enough all their little flaws become blind to you in the sense that, she becomes the "perfect woman" but only in your own eyes, no one elses...............

alls well is well but remember, in finding the perfect woman you need to give regard that it takes two to make the relationship last so what you want may not be the "perfect woman" but "a woman to love, who will in return love you for who you are just as you love her for what & who she is".........................

(i do realise that this is complete theory so i need to put it to the test one day................i mean i haven't really dated much but from wot ppl tell me, ppl that are in long-term relationships or marriage.........that this is their secret for a lasting companionship in life.........brings a tear to my eyes ........(if only ppl were like the albatroses of the galapogas island whereby they pair for life.........................ignore me on that thought but galapogas is an amazing geological dicovery with the tortoises and marine iguanas...............yes i need to put down my national geographic))

hmmmmmmm after writing this is feel i deserve a banana .............. ripe yellow squishy banana with yoghurt and almonds.........mmmmmmmm gluhhhhhlalallla (that was me imitating homers "donut" cravings sound..........hell everyone watches simpson)

yeah i am far far far from perfect......................for starters i will eat with my hands, i don't clean up after ppl, if you do something wrong i will criticise, i sleep with my eyes open and have been known to talk and sing, i am vain and self centered sometimes, i like to pursue things for my own gain and don't care if ppl are hurt, if i want i can make your life hell, i will only give compliments if they are worth giving, i hold grudges against ppl, if you ask me for my honest opinion then be prepared to hear the truth, i am lazy and can be late, i don't wait for ppl, i am rude, obnoxious and moody and can be inconsiderate if i choose to be.................... the list is long but you kinda get the gist of how unmother-mary-like i am................. and i am not going to write a good list about me because thats pointless, you only know how someone is by meeting them and seing how they actually behave in real life..........................so for now i have no goodness at all.................( i should also point out that i am a bit super strong sometimes.........once in sports i broke my teachers finger, smashed someones face in with a hockey stick, clawed ppl with my nails and put my friends arm in a sling and gave someone a black eye and really bruise ppl in some way or another......... seriously i did do this......... but its been a while since i have done any team sport so maybe i won't hurt anyone anymore???? who knows)

thoughtful thoughts...

as you can tell by the number of posts i have put up i can't sleep so i am going to ramble to know myself out...........

now to continue with the random ramblings that come from a black sheep...........note these are all things that we know already but i just thought i would be thoughful and state the obvious.............

"a question may arise to which there is no answer, just answers followed by more questions"

"make life as colourful as you can because opportunities may not come twice"

"small roles can influence change, like cogs in a clock, none forgotten, all are remembered"

"funny sentimental moments can never be bought, they are gifts gained from quality time together"

"home will always be where the ppl you care about and laugh with are........always"

"being alone creates independence, but real strength comes from working and encouraging each other"

"a nation is its people, when you fight for the country, you are striving to grant liberty to the nation........the people"

"time is just a concept, do not let yourself be governed by it, through patience you will learn to master and control it"

"little hope is greater than knowing none at all"

"thinking allows for creative expression and for discovering the self"

"when faced with life's obstacles use 'no limitation' as a limitation to conquer the task at hand"

"those who know me, do not know me; those who do not know me, know me well; connection with me will change my meaning"

"life is about having a beginning and an ending, but i believe to live is to re-create your image and style so that life itself is not repetative or boring"

"one person's misfortunes can also be another person's happiness, just becasue one career seems prospersous doesn't always mean the result will be the same for you"

"percision is always better than perception, but sometimes perception is more accurate than percision"

"never think you can't, always know you can't"

"if knowledge be the cure for curiosity, then let me learn more"

"life is made of many paths, but only you can choose which one you want to walk "

(i could do with a few tranquillisers now...............that or a bullet to the head..........nah just joking do you know how much of a mess that would make...........blood does stain and plus it would serioulsy hurt!!!.....................might go raid the fridge for food instead...............bananas mmmmmm)

"blaming fate is the easy way out of a messed up situation, admitting you have freewill and am in control of your own life and willing to change for the better is the more honourable solution" (this is for the hospitalised spamming idiot of a git that i had a row with earlier today.....not that he will read it and yes you are still cursed so don't even think of the cigs............get well soon u bastoid XXX)

"live each day as if it were your first and as if it were your last"

"to me ppl are like flowers, unique in colour & fragrance and gifted with different characteristics & abilities so that no two are the same, thereby making it difficult to judge which is better, so never shun ppl away based on their culture or heritage or language or faith or circumstance but learn to accept and to hold respect for who and what they are, for every person is different to add variety, contrast & interest to each day that we wake to live our small meaningful lives, and in doing so, we start to discover more about ourselves which is the greatest satisfaction, if not benefit to us "

(right i am starting to go blind now..........i can't see wot i am typing and the computer screen is blurrier than usual which is a sign that the world has come to an end.........as in the world of binary 010101's for the night....................sleep how much you torment me!!!)

"everyone needs to experience shitte in their lives or else they won't appreciate the good times that follow!"

"if you can spare it, then take time out to spend with the loved ones around you, because ppl don't last forever and when they are gone, then they are gone forever and if you want to tell someone that you love them, then do it, for regret is a heavy burden to carry around all your life "

"a rose is beautiful, sweet with scent, vibrant with hue; but do not let yourself be blinded by its marvel; do not forget its shroud of thorns that mean to prick and bleed you"

"winter's frost tingling kiss bids birds farewell to the the south, but one amongst the flock did stay, journeying northwards to avoid summer's heat"

" that which is precious should be kept in the heart, never ever forget the little things in life"

cake monster...

they say when you find a good recipe then its always good to share it with the rest of the world so here is my attempt to tantalise ppls taste buds with some recipes that ppl have given me..........

a. rodbetskaka med saffransglasyr (from juju-chu's mama)
4dl of vetemjol ( 400g flour)
3 1/2dl strosocker ( 350g granulated sugar)
1/2 tsk salt ( half teaspoon salt)
1 tsk bikarbonat ( 1 tsp bicarbonate or baking powder will do)
1 tsk vaniljsocker ( 1 tsp vanilla sugar)
1 msk kanel (1 tbsp cinnamon)
1 tsk malen muskotnot (1 tsp ground nutmeg)
3 1/2dl (raps eller solrosolja (350ml of rapseed or sunflower oil)
3 agg (3 eggs)
3 dl rivna rodbetor (300g of grated beetroot...yes you read it correctly beetroot....that red veg)
2-3 dl valnotter (200-300g of walnurts)

200g cream cheese
3dl florsocker (300g icing sugar )
1/2g of saffran (saffron)

b. yoghurt cake (from portuguese dude at that party)
2- 3 cups flour
1/4 -1/2cup butter (optional)
less than 1 cup sugar
2- 3 eggs (to make it fluffy you can whip the egg whites first or if lazy just mix it all together)
any flavour yoghurt you want

(note: if the yoghurt you are using has alot of sugar in then decrease the sugar amount in the cake mixture)

c. angel food cake (introduced by jessie but recipe from someone else)
6 egg whites
1/2 - 1 cup (100 - 200g) icing sugar
1 tbsp vanilla essence
1 tsp almond essence
1tsp cream of tartar (helps the egg white to form but if using a copper bowl then don't use as it can lead to poisoning)
1/2 cup or about 100g flour (or if you love almonds ground almonds can be substituted so don't add almond essence)

if you want a big big cake then just double everything..........

d. japanese green tea cake (from megumi that i met at that matsuri thing)
200g flour
70-100g sugar
1-2 eggs
50g butter or sunflower oil
1tsp baking powder
1-3tsp powdered japanese green tea (maccha)

e. carrot cake (from hakan's cook book)
hasselnot (hazelnuts )
marrot (carrots)
apel (apples)
mjol (flour )
sirup/honig (syrup/honey)
baking pulver (baking powder)
havregryn (oats) (optional but tastier as i find)
russin (raisins )(optional )

cream cheese
flor socker (icing sugar)
citron saft (lemonjuice)

(hahahaha yes i do alot of baking.................and yes i have heard the analogy that ppl who bake usually have some sexual tension............i once knew a guy that tried to get me to sleep with 30 different guys in a month instead of baking.............no he didn't convince me...... i prefered to make 30 cakes instead...........less hassle and more satisfying hahahaha)

student for life...

"the passion to do something worthwhile, is a worthwhile deed that has passion"

what i lack in life is not education but it is qualification..................
they are both distinct..............

for a qualification you need an insitution such as a universtiy or work placement or hospital...............

but education comes from observation, practice, listening & learning from other ppl including the old and the young as well as animals and plants and from being put in a situation that you have not been prepared for.................

there is so much that one can learn from a text book for theories are the first step, the next step is putting it into realisation and then the third is maintaining that idea and ensuring that it does not turn sour..............or in the face of disater you don't abandon it but stay your ground in hope to rectify and improve the problem area..............

if you have the power of thought then speak your mind and make yourself be heard to others, for thoughts and ideas cannot exist without the ppl backing it with support and putting the plan to action..........no mater how trivial or silly you feel, your pride will be worth wounding if at least one person listens to you and feels gratitude that you have inspired them............for the impact and measurement of greatness will always be dependent on the one that was inspired individually and not collectively..................

life is a continuos learning experience which is why no one is ever too old to be educated because each day can offer new lessons ........so never think that you can't do something until you try because if you don't try then you never know and even if you fail, you can be content with knowing that your failure is a success that it was not meant to be...............

i was always taught that one person can make a diference and that everyone can play a role in making that difference, no matter how small that role is it can be very important, just like cogs in a clock, whereby each cog helps the other to rotate in order to maintain the function of the whole system...........if just one is missing then it will no longer operate and then the whole clock will remain frozen in that position that it could be considered dead..................so to continue in having progression for ourselves and our loved ones, we need to help and understand one another............and to do the things that we are gifted with......................

even if that task which we carry out will mean certain death to us............. but death will not be in vain because that sacrifice will be looked upon as a symbol of their devotion and for those that it has touched their very work will be continued, even if they are no longer around to see the outcome, they will always be remembered for what they in the beginning started..................

(if anyone reading this is thinking......................"fooking idiot of a girl" and is laughing right now in their rooms then go ahead and do so, i really don't care wot you think of me..........i am not here to please you anyway..........i have been ridicled and detested before so its nothing new that i am going to go off and wallow in self pity)

advice...

don't.........i repeat don't ask me what i think you should do because i won't make that decision for you...........

the maker has bestowed you with the power of "freewill" to make your own choices so i am not going to say to you okay do this........... because that is just a pointless automatous existence .................

instead i will simply say "okay if you do this this might happen but if you do that then that might happen and simply leave you to evaluate which scenario you wish to bring into reality into your life...............

its called learning from experience..........if it goes horribly wrong then never take advice from me again but hopefully you did learn something and if it goes right then don't thank me because really deep down we all know the answer to our little problems but we just need someone there to just say it to our faces (just think of that scene in matrix where he knocks over that vase in the kitchen) ................

and no don't compare me to the oracle because i too need to ask ppl for advice...............and i am not all seing all hearing..................

i am just an idiot.............which suits me fine because idiots are not expected to accomplish anything and gives me the opportunity to just behave as stupid and as childish as i want.................(which is a most of the time) and when i mean childsih i don't mean immature whereby i go out and get blind-drunk that i decrease my life expectancy by killing all the cells in my liver so that toxins build up (actually on that note i should say that i don't actually drink alcohol but for some reason everyone thinks i'm the one that is drunk because of my mad nature and i should also add that i don't discourage ppl to give up drinking too because all the ppl i know are responsible enough to know their own limit...... so if you do think the word "moderation").....................my sort of childish behaviour is that similar to that of a childs whereby its just harmless play (okej i admit playing with swords is not all harmless but don't worri i am a professional ninja........as soon as i pass my exams)................

hmmm i guess i should end this with some real words of wisdom so here goes.......
ahem......

sometimes it is easier to run and hide, to stay silent and to disguise your true self in hope that you will fit the mode created for normal society.......

but in truth you cannot keep running and you cannot deny the gifts that you have been given............

if you waste them, then you are wasting the life that you have been blessed with.........

and it is such a shame because though we may think our lives are comparably worse than others, it is often forgotten that we have much more fortunate lives than many more..........

if you have all your limbs and all your senses and your mind is as memorable as your youth, and if you have someone in your life that cares what you do where you are doing it, then you are rich, for riches need not be material possessions............

wealth can be measured by how much happiness you have............

the wonderful thing about this kind of wealth is that sharing this treasure just increases the amount you already possess..............

"not all that glistens is gold, not all that is gold is treasure , not all that is treasure is hidden"

not everything seems as it is at first sight, so take time to discover the hidden layers beneath, you may find beauty is what lurks there or you may uncover truth, that what is perceived as perfect is in fact a lie, for it is always better to know an honest enemy than to rely on a false friend............

(and breathe...............)

well those are the few things that i can muster up at 2am in the morning (and from sleep deprivation) so you can take my advice or not.........afterall it is free and i don't guarantee that it will make your life better.................maybe just a little more bearable (in knowing that compared to me you are perfectly sane)................

dreams...

origami birds...

yes there are alot and no i didn't make 1000...
i made 888 instead...

i know that by tradition making 1000 is meant for luck but i like the number 8 because if you turn it on its side it makes the symbol that represents infinity... so three 8's to me is a sign that whatever happens from now on past, present, future...they will all be intertwinned as one because i can't let the past govern my future. but i can't forget wot has happened so that i don't make the same mistakes twice in the present and i can't look to far ahead in my planning regime because living for now can bring unexpected delights...

you could say thati must have been through alot to write a statement like that but the truth is i haven't lived as much as everyone...

i still have alot of growing up to do and i know that getting hurt and seing things that i don't want to see or go through will be part of that...even if i don't like it it helps to build character and at the same time taking opportunities also increases my chances in finding happy memories along the way too... sentimental treasures that are much much more highly valued than material acquisitions... (well in most instances... don't get me wrong i would rather have something to eat than have the memory of starvation but if i had to give up my food for another then i would want the memory of sacrifice... yes i know its a bit bizzare and yes i realise that i will contradict myself in life because lets face it... i am no saint or angel... i am just human so selfishness can sometimes consume me...............(especially when it comes to sharing my bananas) ...

and if you are still wondering about the cranes... i probably have made over a thousand by now because i give them away as presents or to ppl as good luck charms... and you don't have to worry about me wasting paper too because i usually make it out of those annoying leaflets that come in the post... its called constructive recycling of paper... hahahahaha

and why do i make them???
hmmmmmm many many reasons...
usually when i talk to ppl i make them afterwards as a way of encapsulating their dreams and wishes...
to me dreams remind me of birds...
in the beginning they are incased in a fragile shell so that they may or may not emerge but when they do, they are weak and vulnerable and so need support and encouragement by the loved ones around them...
hopefully over time with the dedication to stay alive and the determination to be independent with the ability to help themselves, they will one day take flight of their own to begin their own journey of discovering wot could happen to them...

because dreams are made of stuff and stuffs are made from dreams....................( am such a cliched person and i would really like mr sandmans job................retire will you)
(No... mr sandman is real so don't destroy my fantasy)

"little hope is greater than no hope at all"

reflection...

i don't just draw pretty pictures..........
and i am not sweet or cute :-p.............



for photos of the face studies i did go to:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=9797&l=97be8&id=517037261

but the working title of the pieces that i am doing are called self-portrait for now..............

there will be four and i plan to give them to four worthy ppl..............
one of which is my little brother.............

that leaves three more

and finding them is going to be one hell of a task....................

in case you are wondering i have only started to draw again recently..........for about 6 years after i finished A-levels i couldn' draw..........my hand and mind and body just wouldn't let me do any drawing.......so like a writer has writing block i had drawing block......................

thought maybe since i lacked any inspiration that i should just give it up then and there so i did.................

hmmmmm wot made me decide to draw again hmmmmmmmmm not quite sure actually???
i think maybe having concussion in sweden helped??? nah that was a joke......................(but seriuosly i did have concussion and no i didn't go to hospital....just slept it off)

it was of course the place sweden and its inhabitants that made me want to draw again..............to all the few that did have the misfortune to cross my path and exchange few words with me.............."jag alsker alla och tack sa mycket, stora puss och kram pa alla" ......"jag vill inte glommt alla" (pls corect me if i have spelt somehing wrong which is no surprise to me)

while there i had an inseperable relationship with my camera that still lasts to this moment (no man shall come between us even if the bribery is bananas)...........it wasn't a really good camera but i loved it because i just wanted to take pictures and films of everyday normal happenings in my life......................

i knew for a fact that if i didn't take pictures/ film momentos then i would regret it, so basically i filmed and pictured everything.................and everyone that knows me will know that because when something happens, out pops the camera.........

ppl are starting to be afraid of me now knowing that if they do something i will be there to get them...........................(which is later posted on internet for the delight of the world)..........(no wonder i have no friends)

no one really said to me 'oh can you take pictures or can you film this'................i just do it..............i think its a nice gesture because there will be times when we want to re-see moments in our lives and then afterwards have that sentimental remaniscences of what we did when we were younger, hopefully making us feel inspired to go out and do more memorable things.................hahahaha

i know that all my pics are just me and though it does look like vanity, it isn't.....................
i never liked having my picture taken, i always prefered to be the one that took the pictures ........
i think one day i just woke up and decided it would be nice to have at least one decent picture of me............

at the time i had alot of origami birds so decided that if iwas going to do a portrait photo then i would want it to be with some silly props so used my birds as i was planning to photograph them aswell.......................

although i liked the photos i thought they don't really convey much except how i looked,,,,,,,,for photos portray too much of a realistic image and can tell lies aswell........ you sometimes don't know how that person is feeling inside because ppl are great actors that they can pretend to be happy or sad..............................just taking an image wasn;'t enough for me to show myself ...................but i just kept taking images because i thought they would help me to do something............................(thank god for digital imagery or else my room would have been littered with so many photos.........alot of wasted ones too........and i need to comment that no.........i haven't used photoshop to edit my pics, just upload them in their raw form because i don't have photoshop on my laptop...........yes i have an antique laptop)



then i went back to england and tidying my shitte-hole of a oom i found some old drawings from A-level projects..............one was entitled self-potrait (the one above).............................it was the thing that i was looking for, for a long time.................i didn't like it!!!

A-levels was a time when i basically left everything to do at the last minute and back then i had to do this piece literally in one night..................i hated it................it was drawn badly...............i had to rush it............it lacked any character and it was not something that i proud of......................

i felt ashamed really that i submited something like that and so i decided that it must be redone............

it had to be redrawn and presented in the way that i originally planned it to be..................

the idea of doing it in a series of 4 came later but the first step was to redo the pencil one that i started at 18..........................................

all those pics came in handy because i used them as references i wanted to remember how i felt at the time and then interpret it as if i wanted to draw........................thats why all the images are deformed and interlinked and very emotional.............................i wanted to try to show everything at once...............and i think i have accomplished it..............






here is a rough copy of the A1 size portrait i am doing...
i'll finish it later again...

for more photos go to:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=9688&l=d2fe7&id=517037261